Had a buffet yet again at Seoul Garden with my girls after our exams ended, ate till too full and just want to sleep it off after that. Thank you for the company as always!(:
I'm start rambling off whatever that comes to my mind. This blog had survived so much, though my updates seemed to dwindle a lot. :X
Managed to found this app where I could download ebooks to read, especially where most of my fave authors' books are available, pretty awesome! Missed reading so much. I do like paperback books still though cos reading through a digital screen ain't good for my eyes *.*
Sadly only less than a week break and internship will begin. There's like so many things I plan to do but constraint by time and money. Why is it always these two things that will affect what we do?
Realised exam period is always the time where I think too much just because I don't feel like studying and mind just wonder about everything that had happened throughout my life. Then this became the place to put some thoughts. Felt like such a failure cos I accomplish nothing that seemed good enough. How much I wanted to break out of this "role/image" I'm given but too afraid to try and the expectation/perception already set by people. it will just seemed too wild or negative. I don't know.
Why are we also bound by unwritten/spoken rules that we aren't supposed to break? The universe is so big that goes on forever but we're just a tiny part of this system. It made no sense that people judge based on what they think should be right or wrong. I mean its your life, why need permission or acceptance in order to do something deemed as good or bad. I really don't understand. I really admire those people who got the courage to be who they want to be, doesn't matter they are seen as a crazy and weird person. Like being abnormal is the real normal.
Starting to worry what I should do after graduation too. Want to continue too study but I will be going through something 10 times more difficult and stressful than poly life. Working seemed like a good idea but being stuck in a position where you are just there to make money for survival sake is meaningless. If I had passion for doing something it would be good for it to surface right now. Sigh. All this just bring me back to square one again.
Just once, I would like to push myself out of this boundary I made for myself and see what happens.