Saturday, November 05, 2011

Since school has started, really not much to update cos it's time to focus on homework, assignments, group projects all over again. Having conflicting feelings right now.

Since choices are coming up soon, had been thinking again what have I done that was special, meaningful, weirdly awesome things for the past 17+years. What had I done so far in life? I realized nothing. I'm still figuring out what I'm good at, what do I have a passion for and the verdict-Nothing. I'm just a typical average person. I can give a whole list of things I suck at but not even a single thing I'm good at. I'm literally wasting my life away. All I've done seems to be following other people's footsteps, never thinking what on earth I'm doing with my life, what I really want for myself.

Best of all, I really don't know myself at all. Who am I?

Everyday doing the same things for the sake of doing it. Funny how life turns out for me. What would it be like for me after graduating poly?What do I want to do next? Nothing seems to call out to me. Maybe the thing I'm good at is doing nothing.There's like no substance in me, watching people pass by everyday in the streets, the seems to be something flowing in them, some substance that makes them them.Could be a purpose?Personality?Anything in the world.

Me? What am I?Lost touch with so many things. Feeling isolated,feeling happy,feeling mixed emotions. It's like I can't function being a human, what I'm suppose to do when I meet people all around me. Everything can be wonderful if you perceive it to be that way or vice versa. Just have to adjust to that mentality which is pretty hard to achieve right now.

Or perhaps never will.

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